If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize