You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
