You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
