Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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