Your tits are I can't wait for
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
