He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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