Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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