lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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