My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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