If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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