You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
