she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
