I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
