Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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