you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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