whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
