sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have demons in me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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