you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
