I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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