He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
