did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
