ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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