this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize