Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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