I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
