Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
