i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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