does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
