the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
