I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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