1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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