we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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