It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
