Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize