What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
