I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
