38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
