I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
