Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize