i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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