he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
