The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
