Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize