it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
