Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
