Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we made out on top of his cat.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
love makes seman taste better
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
