Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
