3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
