my sisters under your porch take her home
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
