dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
