But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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