I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
