my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
