it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
