god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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