woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ketchup is God's man juice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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